You know, I have a hard time going from the ideas I write down to the actual *doing* part. I'm just that rusty me thinks. It's like relearning to ride a bike or something, and I'm so out of practice that even though I know I can still ride to some extent, I'm not the pro I once was. I almost just typed "wunce". Why aren't more words spelled phonetically???? lol.
I know I'm going to stumble all over myself as I restart all this; and all the craziness of the rest of my so called life plays a part.
So how do I jump the hump? It's depressing to have slid backward in ability.
I still have a pretty good intense desire to create. I just let so much time go by doing other stupid shit.
I keep wondering why I let it happen.
Do I simply have the attention span of a gnat?
I let my distaste of doing weddings stop me from doing photography for awhile altogether, then digital took over and kinda screwed me up...
then I decided to go to art school in CO and in LA to learn illustration, and was doing pretty good but had no follow through; since by then I had no money and a kid... My progress got disjointed!
I decided to give up art for freakin FOOD??!!
omg wtf??????
so now I'm rustier than a tin man out in the ocean!
There is one metaphor that has seemed to fit the bill for the past few years:
I am a piece of metal
in the hands of a wicked blacksmith
who keeps BEATIN THE SHIT OUT OF ME till I'm so out of shape!
I need to be melted down and reforged...
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